What the HAYnes? On how men are physically superior to women

HUMOR – I made a shocking discovery this week: Men are physically superior to women.

Last year, in an effort to equalize fitness standards and to prepare women for the thousands of combat positions which are supposed to open to them beginning in 2016, Gen. James F. Amos, Marine Corps’ commandant, ordered new fitness standards for female Marines. The new standards required female recruits to do a minimum of three pull-ups, with eight pull-ups being a perfect score.

In 2013, at Parris Island, S.C., 55 percent of female recruits did not meet the new standards, which were meant to take effect Jan. 1. The new standards are being put on hold and, for the time being, allowing female Marines to choose between a flexed-arm hang and pull-ups to gauge their upper-body strength.

I am not sure I like this.

I would not want a brain surgeon for whom testing standards had been lowered based on gender. I do not want a person fighting for my country for which physical standards were lowered based on gender. The physical and mental standards for combat positions should not be lowered based on gender.

If a woman desires to serve her country in combat and is found physically and mentally capable according to the same standards as her male counterparts, I say more power to her. If that same woman offered to scrub my bathrooms or wash my car, I would not stop her. When an able person offers to do my dirty work for me I do not whine about it. I offer a high five of gratitude and move on.

After thousands of years of being forced to wear corsets and do knee push-ups, many women have been programmed to think that they are inferior and incapable in terms of physical strength. That just isn’t true. Anyone who has carried a two-year-old, three gallons of milk, and a diaper bag into the house while eight months pregnant can attest to that.

In fall 2013, three female Marines were the first to graduate the Marine Corps’ enlisted infantry training school under the same standard that is held for male Marines. This includes a 12-mile march carrying an 80 pound pack, as well as combat fitness trials, timed ammunition container lifts, and running under simulated combat fire.

Clearly, what women may lack in physical strength we make up for in bullheadedness.

But until women figure out how to pee standing up, this whole issue is moot.

My husband was a Marine and besides his quaint ideas of chivalry, that was one of his biggest concerns about females in combat. How would a female “go” on the go? In my mind, that is the only issue here.

Women can vote and own property. Women can go to college, have careers – even wear pants in public! Women can fight for their country. But a woman will never be comfortable when she is camping because of that one seemingly insurmountable physiological difference.

As it turns out, men are physically superior in that one way.

But don’t worry, men. We eighty-sixed the corsets. We will get past this one, too.


Elise Haynes chronicles family life in her blog Haynes Family Yard Sale. Any opinions stated in this column are her own and not necessarily those of St. George News.

Email: [email protected]

Twitter: @STGnews

Copyright St. George News, SaintGeorgeUtah.com LLC, 2014, all rights reserved.


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1 Comment

  • Craig January 3, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    Yet, when it came to sit-ups, the women in my unit made the men eat dust.
    One woman who was a little on the heavy side could crank out 500 sit-ups and not break a sweat. Men with six pack abs were lucky to reach 80. Go figure.

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