What the HAYnes? ‘Safe Time,’ daylight saving time alternative

HUMOR – Benjamin Franklin once said, early to bed and early to rise, and your chick goes out with other guys. That is why many people to this very day believe that Ben Franklin invented daylight saving time.

Ben Franklin did not invent daylight saving time. Daylight saving time was invented by George Hudson, insect collector and stained glass window designer, which proves one of my pet theories, ergo: When you want something invented, why not go to an expert in the field?

The good news is that now we have correctly identified the person to hate when we get up twice a year at 2 a.m. on the first Sunday of November and another Sunday in March to set our clocks back and forward by an hour.

It is a well-proven fact (although I would have a difficult time supporting it with pesky things like actual facts), that most countries in the world are not using daylight saving time. Because we live in the greatest country in the world where we don’t have to care what others think, we observe DST religiously – except in Hawaii and Arizona (minus the geographical inclusion there of the Navajo Indian Reservation)  where they don’t have to worship the sun as it spends more time in those states anyway.

My personal feeling is that we should practice daylight saving time year-round. I call this program “Safe Time,” and the advantages are almost innumerable. I will name just a few right here in this column.

By not setting our clocks back and forward every year we will greatly reduce the number of time-change related injuries. Who knows how many people get broken toes and bruised shins while trying to navigate through the living room, dining room, and kitchen furniture to find the clock on the microwave to change the time at 2 a.m.?

Note the proceeding question was rhetorical; no need to make a comment at the end of this column.

Not changing our clocks has another benefit: No one need ever show up at church an hour early or an hour late because they failed to set their clocks forward or back. Although, theoretically you can be two hours early or two hours late by setting your clock forward or back in the wrong direction – something I learned by personal experience.

The average head of household has to change the time on two car clocks, three appliance clocks, four home clocks, two alarm clocks, a wrist watch, and a host of other modern timekeeping devices.

This means that Mr. Average American spends an hour twice a year just setting clocks. Sure this only amounts to a fraction of the time we spend trying to log onto healthcare.gov, but it is still “our” time we are wasting.

Our clocks, appliances, and other modern timekeeping appliances will last much longer if the time doesn’t change twice a year. This is due to a well-proven law which states: Fiddle with something long enough and eventually it will break.

The biggest advantage of staying on daylight saving time year-round is that we will always have an extra hour of sunlight at the end of the day.

To those who may be thinking, “sure, we may have an extra hour of daylight at the end of the day, but in December it will still be dark until 9 a.m.” I ask you: Is it better to have it be dark at work or dark on your way to go boating at Sand Hallow?

OK, so maybe saying the advantages are almost innumerable is a bit of an exaggeration, but I learned my overstatement skills listening to the master, our very own president, as he sold us the goods on the Affordable Care Act.

If the powers that be are going to insist on having us change our clocks in the spring and fall then I have a suggestion that would make the time change much more palatable: Let’s set our clocks forward and back on a daily basis. We could set the clocks forward right after lunch at work, and set them back as we go to bed.

Note to reader: That is such a good idea that many will be calling upon me to run for office. Maybe I should start running right now!

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John Carter

John Carter is temporarily stepping in for his daughter, Elise Haynes, as she deals with the wonders and glories of moving an vacation. Carter is a well known radio personality who co-hosts the morning show with Marty Lane on 97.7 Big Classic Country (our sympathies to Marty Lane).  He is also known to throw on a good ole country-western dance party and is far too easily amused by lousy George Takai impersonations.

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Copyright St. George News, SaintGeorgeUtah.com LLC, 2013, all rights reserved.

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3 Comments

  • Yosemite Sam November 2, 2013 at 9:22 am

    But John, if it was not for the two time changes per year, how would we ever remember to change the batteries in our smoke detectors?

  • Saving time November 2, 2013 at 10:08 am

    Actually, or rather for this article I should say factually, Benjamin Franklin did invent daylight savings although his idea was not implemented until 1916. The idea of daylight saving time was first conceived (invented) by Benjamin Franklin in 1784 during his stay in Paris. George just wrote a paper about it asking to move the clock 2 hours.

    The main benefit to daylight savings now is so that white collar people can sleep in. You see, us construction workers like to start at daylight before it gets too hot. By moving the clock forward in the spring it doesn’t get light at 5:00 AM so we don’t start making noise and everyone else gets to sleep in.

  • DB November 2, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    Good article! You’d be surprised at the number of countries that do the daylight savings thing. The problem is the rest of the world doesn’t do it on the same days as the USA. Then there’s Indiana, where some counties are in the eastern time zone, some in central, some observe DST, some do not! And to think I have trouble deciding when to leave here for an appointment in Mesquite.

    I propose that sometime after the holidays but before March, the entire USA set their clocks forward thirty minutes and be done with it forever. At the least, I’d like us to join Arizona and not observe DST at all.

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